At the barbers’

It was a lazy Friday forenoon that I realized that my hair needs a trim. I dropped-in to the local salon to find that (owing to Friday, and the part of town that I stay in,) it was busier than usual. Since there was a wait involved, I made myself comfortable on the plush couch, and picked one out of the many magazines casually left around on the ‘side table’. Being the distracted self, I was less interested in the magazine, and more interested in what’s going around, my attention was drawn to a conversation taking place between the owner and someone who appeared to be his friend. Since I am an Indian, and eavesdropping is my birthright, I directed all my efforts in trying to figure out why the ‘friend’s’ eyes, and in fact the whole body language was akin to that of a scientist who has finally got proof of his hypothesis.

The conversation involved a lot of repetitions of the words “bhai“, “phir kya“, and bollywood celebrity names. It did not take me long to understand that the main subject of conversation was “Salman Bhai”, who the owner — either out of sheer respect, or to uphold the convention was referring to as just “bhai”. Ah! then it all made perfect sense. It was easy to put two and two together. The owner was a typical late-20s-gym-frequenting-with-neatly-trimmed-beard guy who claimed to have attended “a lot” of late-night parties where bhai was also invited. So he “knew” bhai and bhai’s nuances like the back of his hand.

The subject on the other hand was an early-20s-just-started-with-“gymming” guy with a gleam in his eyes — and a tremendous hope that his new found guru could get him, maybe not befriended, but at least a picture clicked with the bhai.  (Wait a min, did I say ‘picture”? — I am sorry, that’s so 80’s of me — I meant “a selfie“.)

The topic of conversations ranged from what bhai likes to eat and drink, to who all does he talk to, to how bhai just showed up in his PJ’s to the ‘Kapil Sharma show’. Seems bhai calls the shots everywhere. (Pun intended.)

The conversation seemed to start to go downhill when, I think, the owner realised that this yuppy friend is a bit more enthusiastic than he had anticipated, and may actually one-fine-day show-up to join him on his next late-night-party that bhai is supposed to honour with his presence. The body language changed, the owner started looking more at his watch and what looked like “engaging” WhatsApp messages. The poor friend then seemed to have got the drag, and excused himself after exchanging some half-hearted pleasantries.

And yes, then it was my turn to get a trim — not the bhai kinds that is.

Mind dump

So yes, I have been away, for quite a while. Aaand, of course, a lot happened over these years, a LOT. But, as they say, cannot complain. I shouldn’t complain.

One of the good things that has happened to me in my current organization is that we have been made to undergo a ‘leadership programme’. Wait, it’s not as boring as it sounds. In fact, to my utter surprise, I have not found it boring at ALL. I used to believe I do not belong to such programmes. That such things are applicable for people who want to become successful managers. To my delight, I was wrong.

So the point of sharing the meta-information about the programme that we’ve been made to realize that one of the tenets of ‘transformation’ (from the downtrodden ordinary people, to leaders) is that we have to be fully responsible for our actions. “We have to ‘own’ our actions.” I never paid that much heed to this statement, until I consciously realized what it conveys. It conveys a lot more than what meets the eye — that it’s easy be the effect and not the cause of a situation. In simpler English — it’s easy to hold the situation or others responsible for our actions. The truth, however much we want to deny, is that it is we who chose to behave a certain way, and hence the responsibility is entirely ours!

A lot of times — in the mindless rat-race of proving ourselves to be perfect — an ideal employee, an ideal husband, a perfect parent, a caring son, a should-be-looked-up-to human — we tend to try to cover-up the actions we are not so proud of. While this might work in the near future, it has adverse repercussions in the long run, the most adverse being the effect on oneself. Slowly but gradually it erodes our soul.

Acceptance is liberating.

Accepting that we have been the cause of our actions — of not being the ideal in certain aspects or situations consciously brings us at peace with ourselves. The erosion stops, and so does the avoidance of facing the ground-reality. We need to realise that being at peace with ourselves is indispensable to trying to attain peace with the rest of the world.

Being at peace with ourselves lets us be aware of similar situations in future and behave in a better manner — which might still not be ideal — but still have better consequences than before. This is the key to a long-term sub-conscious aspiration of attaining the ideal behaviour.

Random thoughts

M was telling me about a recent encounter he had with a potential matrimony spouse over a dinner. I don’t know why, maybe the way he narrated it..I laughed so much after a very long time. According to him, the dialogue went something like this:


Potential Spouse (PS): …ummm…yeah…now-a-days even average people are able to get into big companies…
M: excuse me…but I’m below average

PS: So what are your hobbies…?
M: [Thinking: Damn!, I could never answer this question properly in any interview]

Needless to say, “ye shaadi nahi ho sakti!.” 🙂


Watched Jodhaa-Akbar with

   today. On the whole, I liked it. Considering the fact that it’s a produce of Bollywood, I was impressed by the massiveness of the whole thing. I also loved the music.
Poor

   endured the entire movie, of which, I guess, he could only decipher bits and pieces, while I was totally engrossed in it.
Afterwards, found a number of people mocking at the dialogues, maybe because they didn’t understand the language. Hmmm.


In other news, came back to motherland last weekend. Now I want to stay here for some time. Enough of traveling. Phew! 😛


In view of the recent events in this part of the world, I guess, I better lie low — lest some ‘sons of soil’ come and beat the living daylights out of me. I qualify in more than one categories. 😀
On a serious note though, it’s pitiful: Is there an end to the number of categories you could further polarize the people?